Singapore

Singapore – the first stop along my Southeast Asia expedition.

The strictly-clean city/island of roughly 4 million residents is quite a sight. The place has an eclectic mix of Asian cultures. The Chinese dominate over the Indians, Malays and Filipinos. I stayed in the middle of Chinatown, with the sound of a Chinese play for some sort of Buddhist festival and the roar of small engines on motorbikes in the distance.

When I first read about the island in my trusty guidebook, I was astonished by the unusual laws of the island. Apparently a hefty fine can be issued to those who chew gum, spit or even jaywalk. However, I’ve been a bad ass. On more than one occasion, I have jaywalked and spat on the sidewalk as I stumbled back to my hostel following a night of drinks.

Last night was perhaps the most interesting. Not entirely in a good way, though. First, I had a few expensive cocktails at a bar on the 70th floor of a posh hotel. The view was incredible. I could almost see Nebraska in the distance.

Later, I walked toward a row of bumping bars in Chinatown. As I slowly opened the door to one bar, a group of Filipina ladies passionately greeted me and pulled me in by the arms. I may be a striking young man but never in my life has this happened before. I was confused until one of the ladies said to buy her a drink. I quickly realized I was being swindled into a scam that would empty out my wallet faster than a night out in London. Being the cheapo that I am, I politely refused and walked out the door.

To my disappointment every other bar was the same. I then befriended a few Australian guys outside a blues bar. They advised me just to listen to the live music and tell the opportunistic girls that I was poor. It worked and I heard a set from a surprisingly decent blues band.

After a few drinks, I ventured away from the bars before I’d fall prey to one of the girls. I then saw a group of people smoking behind a club. Curiously I walked in the backdoor of the crowded place that had Mariah Carey blasting out of the speakers. I ignored the music and was relieved that I wasn’t being hounded by cash-hungry women.

As I squeezed past other patrons, I felt a few guys trying to grab my wallet in the front pocket of my jeans. I’m always vigilant toward pickpockets and kept a close eye on them. But they just smiled at me, which I thought was a little weird. I finally scanned the entire club and was amazed at the lack of female clientele. I only saw a handful in this sausage fest of a club. Then just a few feet to my left I saw two young Asian men sucking face. I quickly looked around and saw other men starring at me with inquisitive eyes. I was in trouble, stuck in the middle of a gay bar.

I rushed to two girls standing against a wall and asked one of them if I was in a gay bar. She smiled and said “yes.” I then asked for the exit as she pointed behind me. As I exited the club, I looked up at the sign. Taboo, the place was called. If I wandered toward the front instead of through the rear (no pun intended) I would have never entered the place.

But the awkwardness wasn’t quite over yet. I looked at the other bars nearby and it was the same thing, more and more guys in tight, trendy clothing. I was surrounded. Then from behind me I heard the soft, feminine whispers of an Asian man. I regrettably asked him to repeat what he had just told me. And with a seducing grin, he said “would you like a sensual massage?” I vomited a little in my mouth and swallowed it. I replied, “No thanks!” and hurriedly walked back to my hostel to cry myself to sleep.

Next stop is Malaysia's Kuala Lumpur and the beautiful island of Langkawi.