As I walked down a narrow street in Phuket’s bustling tourist zone, Patong Beach, I heard a long, exaggerated plea come from a local vendor. “You wanna massaaaage?” the tan-skinned Thai girl said as she blocked my path in the middle of the road.
I politely said “no” to the busty, young girl, but she did not give up. When I attempted to walk around her, she grabbed my arm. I then ripped my arm from her grasp and briskly strolled away to her repeating “Where u go? I cum wit youuuuu…”
For men visiting this island in southwest Thailand, this is a very common occurrence. Practically everywhere you walk, a group of young girls are posted outside massage parlors waiting for prey to pounce on. With a one-hour massage costing less than $10, many tourists – men and women – partake in the relaxing treatment, though men are more often picked on by the opportunistic Thai ladies.
I even succumbed to the pleas of roadside masseuses, however, only at the quality parlors. There are many hidden in dark, dirty alleys with scantily-clothed ladies. Who knows what happens behind the curtains in those places. I guess you could either leave satisfied and poor following a “sensual massage” or with one kidney. I didn’t fancy both outcomes, so I stayed far away.
Besides an abundance of massage parlors, Patong Beach is ground zero for nightlife in the region. Every night, one of its streets – lined with bars, clubs and lively go-go bars – is blocked off for three or four blocks.
Just like Amsterdam’s red-light district, the go-go bars are a must see for any tourist. As many as 20 to 30 small bars are crammed side-by-side into an area, where attractive girls pole dance on top of the bars and vie for your attention. Drinks cost anywhere from $2 to $5 and you can buy your favorite girl a drink for some short-time companionship.
Nearby, the clubs kept bumping until 6 a.m. while hookers scoured the venues for potential johns. Don’t worry. This guy didn’t go home with any of these raunchy girls. They mainly stayed with the middle-aged men who were willing to spend money on them. It was quite the sight to see a fat, bald 50-year-old man squeezing the ass cheeks of an 18-year-old Thai girl. But the girls didn’t seem to mind as long as the cash keep flowing in their direction.
After a hard week of partying, I caught a ferry to the stunning Phi Phi islands. For those of you who’ve seen The Beach starring Leonardo DiCaprio, you may remember the picturesque white-sand, azure beach in the film. The beach, called Maya Bay, is within a natural park on one of the islands and for only $30 you can rent a boat that takes you there as well as other coves and lagoons on the island.
Tourists typically stay at the larger Phi Phi Don Island, where I paid roughly $15 a day for a beachfront bungalow on Long Beach. The scenery on the beach was amazing while I soaked up the sun and snorkeled the days away.
A short barefoot walk along the sandy shore led me to the beach’s only watering hole, the Buddha Bar. To draw in customers, the bar held nightly fire dance shows. Brave, young men tossed and spun sticks with flames spouting from both ends to the delight of a few tourists.
The best part was at the end of every show. That’s when the fire dancers lit a ring a fire and allowed tourists to jump through it, just as lions do in the circus. Besides a slight singe of the arm hair, it was quite safe to try a couple of times after a few cocktails.
Next blog is Northern Thailand whenever I get around to it.
