There I stood poised in the likes of an Amazon tribesman with a spear elevated in my left hand staring eye-to-eye with a wild monkey.
Seconds ago, the hairy little thief pinched my bag of munchies as I sat stranded on an island off the west coast of Malaysia. After chucking sand and rocks and also stabbing a bamboo spear toward the monkey, he disappeared into the thick jungle with my grub.
Hours before the encounter, a charter boat dropped me off at one of the uninhabited islands near the tourist isle of Langkawi. I was supposed to spend six hours out there but the local boatmen picked me back up a few hours later due to inclement weather.
The early departure was a disappointment not only because I wanted to relax away from other pale tourists but I yearned for revenge against that quick, damn monkey. I thought he deserved to at least be pegged with a small stone or something.
I may have been slightly upset that day but I did thoroughly enjoy my week-long stay in Malaysia. My first stop was the bustling capital of Kuala Lumpur. I had the opportunity to party with locals and stand next to the picturesque Petronas Towers.
I then took an overnight train and ferry to Langkawi where I stayed at random beachside hotels, drank beer and swam in warm seawater. I also rented a moped and traveled across the island to check out remote beaches with rocky, lush green islands just off the coast.
It was surprisingly cheap everywhere on the popular island. A night at a seafront hotel can cost just $25 and a meal stood at about a dollar or two. A beer was less than $2, with cocktails at $5.
I highly recommend a trip to Langkawi since it's still not as touristy or built up as nearby Phuket in Thailand, which is my next stop. However, there are a few things or at least one thing that guys should know before coming out this way.
Though the beaches are beautiful, many of the beachgoers aren't what you'd expect. Malaysia is a Muslim country, so you'll likely see fully-clothed women in the water, even with their headdresses on. Also, there was an abundance of gay dudes, some in thongs and Speedos that were all too revealing.
I typically associate sandy beaches with nubile bikini-wearing girls. Unfortunately I could only find a few on the island. Though its eye-candy was bothersome, the price was right for traveling to Langkawi, and even for the rest of Malaysia.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Singapore
Singapore – the first stop along my Southeast Asia expedition.
The strictly-clean city/island of roughly 4 million residents is quite a sight. The place has an eclectic mix of Asian cultures. The Chinese dominate over the Indians, Malays and Filipinos. I stayed in the middle of Chinatown, with the sound of a Chinese play for some sort of Buddhist festival and the roar of small engines on motorbikes in the distance.
When I first read about the island in my trusty guidebook, I was astonished by the unusual laws of the island. Apparently a hefty fine can be issued to those who chew gum, spit or even jaywalk. However, I’ve been a bad ass. On more than one occasion, I have jaywalked and spat on the sidewalk as I stumbled back to my hostel following a night of drinks.
Last night was perhaps the most interesting. Not entirely in a good way, though. First, I had a few expensive cocktails at a bar on the 70th floor of a posh hotel. The view was incredible. I could almost see Nebraska in the distance.
Later, I walked toward a row of bumping bars in Chinatown. As I slowly opened the door to one bar, a group of Filipina ladies passionately greeted me and pulled me in by the arms. I may be a striking young man but never in my life has this happened before. I was confused until one of the ladies said to buy her a drink. I quickly realized I was being swindled into a scam that would empty out my wallet faster than a night out in London. Being the cheapo that I am, I politely refused and walked out the door.
To my disappointment every other bar was the same. I then befriended a few Australian guys outside a blues bar. They advised me just to listen to the live music and tell the opportunistic girls that I was poor. It worked and I heard a set from a surprisingly decent blues band.
After a few drinks, I ventured away from the bars before I’d fall prey to one of the girls. I then saw a group of people smoking behind a club. Curiously I walked in the backdoor of the crowded place that had Mariah Carey blasting out of the speakers. I ignored the music and was relieved that I wasn’t being hounded by cash-hungry women.
As I squeezed past other patrons, I felt a few guys trying to grab my wallet in the front pocket of my jeans. I’m always vigilant toward pickpockets and kept a close eye on them. But they just smiled at me, which I thought was a little weird. I finally scanned the entire club and was amazed at the lack of female clientele. I only saw a handful in this sausage fest of a club. Then just a few feet to my left I saw two young Asian men sucking face. I quickly looked around and saw other men starring at me with inquisitive eyes. I was in trouble, stuck in the middle of a gay bar.
I rushed to two girls standing against a wall and asked one of them if I was in a gay bar. She smiled and said “yes.” I then asked for the exit as she pointed behind me. As I exited the club, I looked up at the sign. Taboo, the place was called. If I wandered toward the front instead of through the rear (no pun intended) I would have never entered the place.
But the awkwardness wasn’t quite over yet. I looked at the other bars nearby and it was the same thing, more and more guys in tight, trendy clothing. I was surrounded. Then from behind me I heard the soft, feminine whispers of an Asian man. I regrettably asked him to repeat what he had just told me. And with a seducing grin, he said “would you like a sensual massage?” I vomited a little in my mouth and swallowed it. I replied, “No thanks!” and hurriedly walked back to my hostel to cry myself to sleep.
Next stop is Malaysia's Kuala Lumpur and the beautiful island of Langkawi.
The strictly-clean city/island of roughly 4 million residents is quite a sight. The place has an eclectic mix of Asian cultures. The Chinese dominate over the Indians, Malays and Filipinos. I stayed in the middle of Chinatown, with the sound of a Chinese play for some sort of Buddhist festival and the roar of small engines on motorbikes in the distance.
When I first read about the island in my trusty guidebook, I was astonished by the unusual laws of the island. Apparently a hefty fine can be issued to those who chew gum, spit or even jaywalk. However, I’ve been a bad ass. On more than one occasion, I have jaywalked and spat on the sidewalk as I stumbled back to my hostel following a night of drinks.
Last night was perhaps the most interesting. Not entirely in a good way, though. First, I had a few expensive cocktails at a bar on the 70th floor of a posh hotel. The view was incredible. I could almost see Nebraska in the distance.
Later, I walked toward a row of bumping bars in Chinatown. As I slowly opened the door to one bar, a group of Filipina ladies passionately greeted me and pulled me in by the arms. I may be a striking young man but never in my life has this happened before. I was confused until one of the ladies said to buy her a drink. I quickly realized I was being swindled into a scam that would empty out my wallet faster than a night out in London. Being the cheapo that I am, I politely refused and walked out the door.
To my disappointment every other bar was the same. I then befriended a few Australian guys outside a blues bar. They advised me just to listen to the live music and tell the opportunistic girls that I was poor. It worked and I heard a set from a surprisingly decent blues band.
After a few drinks, I ventured away from the bars before I’d fall prey to one of the girls. I then saw a group of people smoking behind a club. Curiously I walked in the backdoor of the crowded place that had Mariah Carey blasting out of the speakers. I ignored the music and was relieved that I wasn’t being hounded by cash-hungry women.
As I squeezed past other patrons, I felt a few guys trying to grab my wallet in the front pocket of my jeans. I’m always vigilant toward pickpockets and kept a close eye on them. But they just smiled at me, which I thought was a little weird. I finally scanned the entire club and was amazed at the lack of female clientele. I only saw a handful in this sausage fest of a club. Then just a few feet to my left I saw two young Asian men sucking face. I quickly looked around and saw other men starring at me with inquisitive eyes. I was in trouble, stuck in the middle of a gay bar.
I rushed to two girls standing against a wall and asked one of them if I was in a gay bar. She smiled and said “yes.” I then asked for the exit as she pointed behind me. As I exited the club, I looked up at the sign. Taboo, the place was called. If I wandered toward the front instead of through the rear (no pun intended) I would have never entered the place.
But the awkwardness wasn’t quite over yet. I looked at the other bars nearby and it was the same thing, more and more guys in tight, trendy clothing. I was surrounded. Then from behind me I heard the soft, feminine whispers of an Asian man. I regrettably asked him to repeat what he had just told me. And with a seducing grin, he said “would you like a sensual massage?” I vomited a little in my mouth and swallowed it. I replied, “No thanks!” and hurriedly walked back to my hostel to cry myself to sleep.
Next stop is Malaysia's Kuala Lumpur and the beautiful island of Langkawi.
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